Flowing
I need help.I need a friend.
I am bursting from everything that I am witholding inside of me. It just keeps building up and recently, it has reached the point of saturation. I can't take it anymore
The magnitude that my heart is hurting, the rate of flow of my tears, it's not going to stop unless there is an outlet for it. I need that outlet. I need to talk to someone.
But nobody is willling to listen. They tell me nt to worry, that I should focus on other things at hand, there is nothing I can do about it. Or they are just too caught up in their own lives and I do not want to burden them somemore. Now I wonder why, why do I not have any friends that I can spill all my thoughts to, with no restraint. Why am I surrounded by people everyday, every moment, only to realize that none understand or will ever truly understand me?
I am just so worried, so overwhelmed by everything. They brush my worries aside, saying that everything will work out. How? It won't. It's not. No matter how hard I work or how high a mark I get, it is not going to change anything anymore. Not after I screwed everything up.
Marks. Such 'insignificant' numbers that keep appearing in our lives. Or that's what everyone likes to think. It is not. Not. Not. And never will be. They grade everything, even our atheletic abilities or even our character. I don't understand, can something as complex and as multi-faceted as a person's character be summerized as a double digit? Obviously, these digits are so recognised and so important in a studen'ts life. So how can they say that we are 'more than just our marks?' Because we are not. Without these marks we will never get anywhere. We can't do the things we want and get into our desired places. We can't. No one will let us. No one will let me. I am nothing more than a mere digit.
I don't know. I don't understand anything. I am so confused by everything.
I can't articulate my thoughts in words. I need someone who understands me to help me speak my thoughts aloud and comfort me. I really need it. A brainwashing device would suffice too. Just to erase these feeligns of hoplessness, helplessness and despair.
Where are you
posted by Jame @ 9:53 PM
3 Comments:
i m bursting too. but no one sees it.
but i'll always be there for you when you need me. *hugs*
would you like to check out Brighton Youth Ministry (^_____^)^ a great place, with sincere people and pure fun...
haha u can try megalife ministry too! hahaha.
haha anw, I DONT UNDERSTAND. haha. not dat i dun care but i dun understand. XD
but i'm just here to tell u dat there's someone who understands, and who knows how u feel, even if u dun tell him, and his name is Jesus.
keep it short haha dun nag, but just wanna say he's really the one person who can always understand u, and who's always dere with you. he's my closest fren, and really, he's never failed me.
all the things u say i'll never really understand, but if there's one person who does, it's Jesus. and he's not just there to listen. he wants to listen.
haha i think i still talk alot i'm flooding. heh.
but really, trust me, Jesus loves you so much.
you'll never burst, cos u can give your burdens and pain and sadness and everything all to Jesus. =D
Jesus loves you. =D=D
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