hate my shoes
UNPRETTY
TLC
I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the dayI have myself to blame
I'm just trippin
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too
Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin
to be inferior
This world is the 'survial of the fittest' in every aspect of that phrase. So it means that I have to be the best in order to survive right? Only the best can actually be happy and get a real life right?
But it seems that no matter how hard I try, i never come close. Aftr repeated happenings, my self confidence has dropped from a zero to a negative.
I just want to feel the satisfaction of knowing that other people actually regard me as someone with talent, someone who can actually play. I don't want to get parts just because i whine a lot and people just chuck them to me in hopes of shutting me up. Sure, I may still get the part, but what use is it? It's not the particular part that i want. I just want to feel like I have talent, that I am actually good.
Lets face it, I'm just insecure, I am unable to live a day of my life without knowing that somebody regards me as talented or some other positive thinkings. I live in fear, every day, every moment of my life that somebody will think me redundant, lousy. I need reassurance.
Reassurance.
But also the truth.
I cannot live knowing that I am average. I hate being average. But
thats what I am.
Everybody tells me to 'accept it.'
But I can't. I just can't. I am unable to live my life knowing that I am just average. Unworthy of anything. Worthy of Nothing. To be unable to shine, unable to be outsanding. And not because I don't try. I try, I really do and I really want it too. But I just can't.
To sit there in the midst of all the stars.
But I am unshining.
Shame
Agony
Envy
Hate
Desperation.
Everybody's eyes just flint pass me. Unworthy. Unknown. Ignored
I am past the point of communication.
I am past the boundary of their sight.
Even though I am just beside them.
